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Friday, August 21, 2009

Tragic Twi-Twat Thoughts


It's early on Friday morning
(is 8:30am considered early?)
And I'm bitchy and tired...
and so not a morning person.

OK. Like I'm not bitchy all the damn time?
Yeah, let's blame it on the hour of the day.
That works.

ANYway.
My brain isn't fully functioning...
but there are some random thoughts
trying to break through...

1. We are going through a Rob drought right now.
He's been deep under "Eclipse" cover in Vancouver.
A lot of people don't know what to do.
They need their daily fix of Robert!
"Remember Me" spoiled everyone
with the daily barrage of Rob pics...
Everyday there were hundreds of new
delicious pictures of Robert.
And now... nothing.
I know that Rob bloggers and devoted fans
are scrambling for something to put on their
Robert Pattinson sites...
But me?
I kinda like it.
I feel like I don't have to worry about Rob.
I feel like he's... safe.
He's out from the glare of the paparazzi...
and the adoring (and not so adoring) fans.
He doesn't have to race to his trailer...
He doesn't have to endure screeches and screams.
He can relax.
Hang with Kristen.
And do his job in peace.

2A. Twi-Twat Delusion- beliefs with which a person
is preoccupied and to which the person firmly holds,
despite the logical absurdity of the beliefs
and a lack of supporting evidence.

2B. I want to clarify my whole take on...
Twi-Twats.
Do you think I was harsh?
Do you think that the TT's are crying in their cornflakes?
Fat Fucking Chance.

Here's the deal.
I'm sick of the Kristen bashing.
I find it tedious.
The bitter jealousy is tired and futile.
And when I wrote about delusional TT's...
That is a small portion of Twilight Fans.
If you read what I wrote about the Twats...
and shook your head and laughed?
If you smiled and thought "I know someone like that"
You aren't a TT.

If you got fucking defensive and punched your dog?
If you cried and sharpened knives in hopes of finding me?
If you booked a flight to Vancouver to stalk Rob
with dreams of beating up Kristen?
YOU are a Twi-Twat.

The only people to get upset over what I wrote...
are the people who see themselves in my words.
And how very sad for you.

See... it's totally cool to have Rob fantasies...
We all have them.
It's cool to dream about meeting him someday...
Or getting his autograph...
But lying to yourself that you and Rob are meant to be together?
Booking flights so you can physically assault Kristen?
NOT cool.

Twi-Twats are an embarrassment to the decent fans.
And their delusional, paranoid behavior is always
what the media and the public seem to see.
It's not the decent, respectful fan...
who treats Robert like a human being
that is portrayed in the media...
It's the screaming, raging lunatics...
Demanding attention and feeling entitled
to not only Rob's time... but to HIM.
Fucking scary.
Truly.

So in closing.
(I need some breakfast)
If I disappear some time in the future...
Have unexplained absences from my blog...
Look to the TT's.
They will know where my body is buried.

Bye for now

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMFG that was hilarious!

You're not too harsh. You speak the truth.

I love this blog keep up the good work!

Lula! said...

Oh my stars..."Twi-Twats."

You win. That is brilliant.

(p.s. I shall get all Biblical on you here...you are totally "speaking the truth in love." Amen.)

Laura said...

BRILLIANT, ROSE. FUCKING BRILLIANT. :)

Tess said...

I've got your back bb..

Trixie said...

Rosie!

Smack dab!!!

Hahahahahaha!!!

I can't stop laughing at that...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

<3 you BFT!!!

Anonymous said...

absolutely brilliant!!! OMG I’m fucking love you!!!
to all Twi-Twat...F UUUUU!!!!!