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Monday, May 18, 2009

Robert Pattinson IS Beautiful Bastard...

I should be Rob's bodyguard.
I would take such good care of him.
I wouldn't let annoying asswipes push cameras in his face.

I know karate.
I can be tough.

He looks so anxious... so frustrated.
I don't like seeing that look on his beautiful face.
Rob should always be smiling... that gorgeous smile.

I guarantee you that no stinkin bitches would
get in his way with me around.
There's no bigger bitch than me!

Rob would be laughing if I were his bodyguard.
Seeing people flying through the air...
*POWS* and *BAMS* echoing loudly.
No Pap would dare confront him.
Would dare ask him
"Hey Rob... You dating that Kristen Stewart?"
No 'fan' would have the nerve to ask for a picture

(and seriously, again... the same damn people
showing up in these pics. What.The.Fuck?)

One look at me...with my teeth bared
My claws out...
and those whores would back the hell up.

If I was Rob's bodyguard...
He wouldn't look frightened...
He wouldn't be terrified.
I would protect him.
He would feel safe.
He would smile in airports...
knowing that as long as I was there...
No one could touch him.

Why do I suddenly feel like I should get a buzz cut...
and wear skinny ties... and sunglasses?
Robert Pattinson~ Code Name~ Beautiful Bastard.

*Cue up song*

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you...
Bye for now

2 comments:

Tess said...

LOL sweet Rose (though I feel like I'm ruining the picture you just painted here by calling you "sweet")

In addition to the sunglasses and skinny ties..you're gonna need an umbrella so he doesn't melt in the rain! (where's Dean?? )

Can we be a team? I want to help protect Rob too. We can dress in red, rat our hair, and call ourselves Thing 1 and Thing 2 (sorry :) drinking reading your blog again) xoxo

Anonymous said...

YOU GO ROSE! He could use a little better protection.

And what's with all the old men getting his autograph all the time ? Are they selling them on EBay? What shiteous nonsense.